Friday, March 6, 2015

Carpe Diem Tan Renga Challenge #76, Hamish Gunn's "only emptiness "


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Another week has gone and it's Friday again ... so time for a new Tan Renga Challenge (TCR) in which I challenge you to write a second stanza to complete a Tan Renga (a short chained poem written by two poets) with a given "hokku" or "first stanza" by one of our Carpe Diem Haiku Family members. This week I have chosen a haiku written by Hamish Gunn which he wrote in response on our Haiku Writing Techniques on Wabi Sabi ... here is his haiku:

in the space between the trees
only emptiness
without emptiness no forest


© Hamish Gunn

Credits: Emptiness
The above picture is in strong contrast with Hamish's haiku ... he writes about emptiness between the trees and I will try to write a second stanza towards it more on a concrete idea as the empty hall in the picture. So here is my attempt to write a second stanza towards the "hokku" by Hamish:

in the space between the trees
only emptiness
without emptiness no forest
                      (HG)

cicadas' voices resonate

through the old mansion's empty hall        (Ch)

Hm ... not as strong as I had hoped, but maybe I will come with another one later this week ... for now ... have fun!
Try to write the second stanza (two lines respectively 7-7 syllables, no obligation) to make this Tan Renga complete or continue the painted scenery.

This episode of our TCR is open for your submissions today at noon (CET) and will remain open until next Friday March 13th at noon.

1 comment:

  1. I think the finish is strong, just the cicadas are a surprise - though I know you want that for their atmosphere and seasonal meaning. The contrast between the empty mansion and cicadas moving in is strong,with the owner having departed on a long journey perhaps - in the summer..

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