Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Carpe Diem's Freestyle #3


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

To give you all the space to share your haiku, senryu, tanka, kyoka and all other Japanese kinds of poetry I have launched a little while ago the Carpe Diem's Freestyle feature. As from now on I will try to publish a Freestyle episode once a month.

Freestyle is what it is ... just share your poetry without a given prompt, maybe you have read a wonderful haiku, or did you write an awesome haiku but it didn't suit to the prompts given. Then this is the place to share that poetry with Carpe Diem.
Feel free to share your poetry and enjoy the publishing here on the world wide web.

I love to share here a haiku by Basho, which I love, and the respons I gave on that same haiku by Basho. It's all about a little humor in haiku and I don't know if I have touched that humor with the revised haiku.




Humor ... was, and is still, part of haiku. Basho also used humor in his haiku. Humor isn't my thing to use in haiku. In some of my haiku it's possible that there is a touch of humor, but I did that unconscious and not on purpose.
Basho's next haiku has this humor very clearly. He has written this at Ryumon Falls at the southern foot of Mount Ryumondake in Yoshino, province of Nara. This is the area with Japan's most notable display of cherry trees. This verse uses a comparative technique: Basho is comparing how a person who is drunk stands (or doesn't stand) with the shape of a waterfall and with the way branches loaded with blossoms hang down.

sake nomi ni    katara n kakaru    taki no hana

drinking friends
to talk I'll hang over like this
a waterfall of flowers

Well I have written a few haiku in the sense and tone of this one by Basho. I only can hope that it has also a little bit of Basho's humor in it.

on the way home
drunken sailors bend over
to vomit

it's a strange sight
like a waterfall they fall
drunken sailors

Ah! that sight
a waterfall of flowers
when vomiting

Well I hope you liked it and I love to invite you all to share your own Freestyle here with us. This Freestyle-episode will stay on 'till September 30th 11.59 AM (CET) and I will try to publish that same day the new episode of Freestyle.



7 comments:

  1. I have to admit that I never looked at vomit as a waterfall of flowers until I read your haiku! ;)

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  2. Thank you for this 'freestyle' forum!

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  3. definitely humorous, intended or not!

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  4. I printed out your Sept haiku list and no way does it match what haiku prompts you are using ~ I am thoroughly confused ~ Would you explain please ~ won't be back until it is clear whether you are using Sept prompts you listed or just check each day? thanks, carol, xo

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    1. I don't know what you mean Carol. I use the list as is given on the page Carpe Diem September 2013 and There are several extra features which are coming along, but aren't listed. All the features as e.g. Freestyle are extra and aren't mentioned in our prompt list. For the Specials by Southard I choose the day before a haiku, so that's maybe the only thing not listed, because I don't know which Special haiku I will use as I prepare the list.
      What kind of prompts do you have on your printed prompt-list of September?

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  5. I am particulary fond Of humor in renga -- i

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